I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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