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Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
