True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All the doctor said was why
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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