Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
