i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
