You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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