If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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