community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
