I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
