If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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