I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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