i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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