Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
