Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
