How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
