There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
