I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
