Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And then he peed in my hair
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