he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
