I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
