At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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