so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
