is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
