yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Fuck appropriateness.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
porn star boner night. come get it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
