what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
