8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
