wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize