Whod you bang
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
