I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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