Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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