last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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