Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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