I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she peed on how many people?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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