is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
