why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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