You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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