Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
