woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
