She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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