I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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