I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
