Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
