I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
