I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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