Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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