The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
