This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
