i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am one with the molecules
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
