She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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