Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize